Desire and Fear – Hotel Bedroom by Lucian Freud

Hotel Bedroom by Lucien Freud
Hotel Bedroom by Lucian Freud

A man in the shade stares at a woman lying in bed. The look on his face and his attitude towards the lady suggest that he has been through this scenario more than once and that he doesn’t know how to resolve the daily issue he faces.

The light coming in to their Parisian bedroom brightens the creased white sheets and the pale surface of the woman’s hand and face emerging from the bed. Her golden hair is perfectly done, as if she hadn’t moved for hours, her fingers press on her cheek, with her little finger resting on her lips. Her eyes stare at the ceiling, she is thoughtful, desperately trying to clear her mind and forget the presence of the man next to her. His presence has become unbearable and she wishes he could just jump out of the frameless window. Like a ghost, he is tormenting her even while she tries to rest and fall asleep. For days she hasn’t closed her eyes, always afraid that he will show up. And there he is, again, she cannot really distinguish his reflection from the shadow. The light is playing a trick on her and she doesn’t like it. She doesn’t like that  for one second she wished that he would die for her peace of mind. Lost in the expression of her fantasies and the reality of her life, she doesn’t dare to move her hand from her face. His insistent judging look makes her uncomfortable, he wants the answers that she doesn’t have for herself. She wishes to stand up and push her hand towards his body, but she doesn’t have the strength to do so. She feels immobilized, paralyzed with fear of what she desires and anger towards herself as she comes back to her senses;the reality, the empty room, her fingers on her face and the light on the sheets coming from the frameless window.

 

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